


The Quest for a Rat

by egg_is_meat



Category: South Park
Genre: Canon ages, Gen, I love them so much, No Drama, Stick of Truth AU, hes a stinky boy of course he has street mice, literally just little boys messing around at the pet store, u know i had to mention dogpoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 06:10:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20523242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egg_is_meat/pseuds/egg_is_meat
Summary: craig and those guys oneshot! :^) keep in mind they're not aged up, they're wittle ten-year-oldsi haven't put any of my own work on here yet so here





	The Quest for a Rat

"Thank you for the ride, Mrs. Black!" Jimmy, Craig, and Clyde chanted in unison.

Token's mom laughed and waved her hand, batting the air like she was virtually brushing off the gratitude. "Any time, boys. Have fun; I'll be back here to pick you up in twenty minutes."

The four of them hopped out of the car. They waited a moment for Jimmy to grab his crutches and right himself before the car door slid closed and the yellow-orange car drove off. They started walking across the parking lot into the building in front of them.

"Why couldn't we just get a rat from Kenny or something?" Token asked as they made their way. He'd been kind of passive-aggressive about their reasoning for coming out to the pet store for a while. Not angry, just frustrated, sort of.

"Uh, first of all, that's Princess Kenny to you," Clyde corrected, pressing the importance of maintaining their roleplay identities. "And, Rogue Token, we've already asked Princess Kenny. She said that her rats are part of the royal bloodline and therefore should not be involved with such a duty."

"Have you tried Dogpoo Petuski?" Token suggested, unfazed by Clyde's seriousness regarding the fourth graders' live-action roleplay. "You know, that kid who always sort of is there but never says anything?"

"Smells like shit, though," Craig added quietly. He and Jimmy laughed, but Token wasn't going to let this go right away and Clyde was absorbed in his warrior persona.

"Yeah, yeah, kinda like a prop?" Clyde said. Token nodded. "He doesn't have any sort of rats, just street mice. But we were called for a rat, and a rat we shall return with!" He flung his arms up in the air.

The familiar sound of our shoes hitting the road ended and was replaced by a quieter, flatter sound when we hopped up onto the sidewalk and into the pet store. The automatic doors opened and they stepped inside.

"Hey, Clyde, seriously dude, you can drop the warrior thing," Craig said. We just need to pick out a rat and wait for Token's mom to come and buy it."

"Aw, but it's more fun in character! Please?" Clyde begged. He looked over to Jimmy for support. "You agree, right, Jimmy?"

Now all three of them were staring beadily at Jimmy. After a few seconds of silence, he answered, "J-Jimmy? I know no Jimmy, j-j-juh-j-just Le Bard!"

Clyde cracked a smile and Craig furrowed his brows.

"Come on guys, let's go see where their small mammals are," Token said, trying to steer them down an aisle with things for rodents. He could see cages with animals in them at the end of it.

"Hey, Craig," Clyde said, pulling the noirette over to see a bag of guinea pig food. "This guinea pig on the covering of it looks like Stripe."

Craig took the bag in his hands. "Holy shit, you're right." He held the bag up like it was a sacred object to be handled with great care.

"Dude, of course it looks like Stripe, all guinea pigs look the same," Token put in, unamused.

"No, they don't!" Craig whined. "This one has all her markings and everything." He pointed to different spots and stripes in the fur pattern.

Token took the bag from him and set it back on the shelf they had found it.

"Hey, hand that back!" Craig protested, trying to grab at it but struggling with Token acting as a barrier between the two.

"No! Come on, why look at a bag when we could be looking at real guinea pigs?" Token pointed out. Craig stopped fighting and the other two visibly perked up.

"Real guinea pigs?" Craig repeated.

"Yeah, moron!" he answered smugly, his insult clearly having playful intentions.

"W-w-well fellas, what are we waiting for?" Jimmy said. They practically sprinted down the aisle.

Craig arrived at the cages first, panting in his guinea-pig obsessed glory, followed by Clyde, followed by Jimmy, followed by Token, who had flat-out walked.

"Wooowwwww," Craig said in awe, pressing his face up against the glass. "If I could adopt all of these guinea pigs, I would be sooooooooooo happy."

There were four guinea pigs, two calico, one brown with a white blaze on its nose, and one mostly black. One of the calicos had spiky fur (to which Craig said wisely, "It's 'cause it's an Abyssinian guinea pig") and Clyde just about melted on the spot.

"AWWWWW," Clyde said. "It's so CUTE I think I'm going to DIE."

"Let's hope n-not," Jimmy grinned. "But in your d-d-duh-d... in your d-d-defense, she is really cute."

"She?" Clyde wondered aloud.

"Yeah," Craig answered for him. "They're all females, says so right here." He pointed to the tag under the cage, which sure enough, proved their point.

The four boys were completely still for a few more minutes, admiring the "little furry potatoes", as Clyde had called them.

Suddenly Token looked up. "Weren't we here for something?"

Clyde slapped his own face. "Yeah! The mission! Where are the rats?"

After a little bit of poking around all the different cages, Jimmy said, "Over here!"

The others stood up from their bent-over poses to examine his find. To cause less of a hassle, he had been the only one of them to search the higher terrariums rather than the lower ones, and a large cage with maybe 10 rats was at Craig's height.

"Awww, these ones are cute too," Clyde cooed.

"Let's just pick one," Token said. "My mom will be here any minute now and I don't want to waste her time while she has the day off work."

"The nicest one, of course," Clyde said. "For the Grand Wizard."

"And the High Elf King," Jimmy insured. "Now that the k-kingdoms are joint."

"Of course."

They all watched the rats run around, drink water, use an exercise wheel.

"So... which one is the best?" Token asked.

"I like this one," Craig said, pointing at an average-looking rat sleeping in the corner, huddled with a few others. "It reminds me of Stripe."

"Huh?" Token wore a confused expression. "How does it remind you of Stripe?"

Craig shrugged. "I dunno, just does."

"Ooo, how about this one?" Clyde proposed, gesturing to the biggest rat. It was perched upon a rock and sniffing the air, its white-and-beige fur bristling.

"Yeah," Jimmy agreed. "She looks m-m-maaaaaaa... m-maaaaaaa...majestic."

"So we've got our champion," Token said, grinning. He turned around as the sound of the automatic doors opening reached our ears. "Oh, my mom's here. Perfect timing."

"Mission successful," Clyde reported triumphantly.

They all smiled. "Mission successful."


End file.
